7 Ways To Help Him Want Closness Again

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.”

This old refrain makes us think of tired wives across the country turning down their desperate husbands for the hundredth time.

However, the reality is that women aren’t the only ones who suffer from low libido and lack of Lovemaking interest. Men also suffer from low desire. And when they do, it can be incredibly complicated and challenging for couples to face. Many women feel ashamed and angry that their spouses are turning down their $exual advances. After all, men are supposed to want Lovemaking all the time.

Sex Facts

It’s easy to see how harmful gender messaging about $exuality can be, both for men and for women. Men feel overwhelmed that they aren’t in the mood like they are “supposed” to be, and women feel suspicious and insecure that their partners don’t want them anymore. They wonder: Is he cheating? Is it because I gained weight? Is he not attracted to me?

The reality is often much less insidious. Like women, men encounter low libido for a number of reasons, both physical and emotional. Perhaps he is suffering from a hormonal imbalance (men go through a “change of life” just like women do, when their testosterone levels dip), perhaps he is dealing with a chronic condition like diabetes, or perhaps he is simply too tired and stressed from dealing with work and his hectic schedule. All of this can do a number on a man’s desire, especially if his relationship is tense and unhappy on top of it.

Here are some things women can do to help boost their partner’s desire:

  • Consider his medicine cabinet.

Did he recently start a new medication such as anti-depressants that might be doing a number on his libido? Other drugs such as Propecia (a popular hair-loss prevention drug) can also lead to decreased desire. Beta-blockers and anti-anxiety meds can have similar unwanted effects. He might consider talking to his doctor to find out if they are options that will interfere less with his s’exual function.

  • Get exercising.

Nothing is better for your physical health (or s’exual health) than plenty of exercise. Take a long walk after dinner each night or join a intramural sports team together. Get active everyday and make healthy choices as a couple.

  • Encourage him to see a medical doctor.

If he isn’t interested in Lovemaking, it could be due to erectile dysfunction which can often be easily treated with medical intervention. Most men will avoid Lovemaking all together if they perceive any risk of poor $exual function and once performance improves, libido often follows. A doctor can also check his testosterone levels, which play a significant role in $exual function and interest and often drop as men age.

  • Address stress.

If stress from his job or other aspects of his life are bringing him down, he might really need some support. Encourage him to reach out for assistance, whether that’s from you, a friend or even from a therapist. In fact, according to the research, the best prognosis for a man’s erectile dysfunction is when his partner is involved in the seeking of treatment.

  • Talk about it.

Don’t sweep the issue under the rug. If you want more Lovemaking connection, you need to discuss it. Just make sure you do it in a way that is non-confrontational. Don’t accuse him or insult him (“I can think of a million men who would love to have Lovemaking with me!”) Instead, say, “I’ve noticed we aren’t having Lovemaking as much as we used to. I miss being with you and I love our $exual connection. What can I do to help bring back some of the passion and intimacy back to your lives?”

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